The Meat of Life

Fellow Friends,

I’m sure by now that many of you veteran and neophyte readers have created an image of me a something more than a normal man in lieu of my legendary female conquests, endless supply of eerily surreal wisdom, and unprecedented mastery of high-societal maneuvering. In fact, I’m certain that many of you are so in awe of my abounding smoothness in everything I say that you feel you cannot possibly relate to me and thus you feel may feel that my intellectual teachings will not apply to your little life. Well, my dissuaded darlings, I would like to let you in on a little secret that might help you to view me more in a form that you can understand with your average intellect...

As a cultured, well-rounded, and red-blooded American man, I have been watching the common mans time honored sport of American football over the past few weekends. Yes, yes you may be saying to yourself “how can a Higgins watch a commoner’s game?” Although the game themselves are occasionally entertaining, I find my attention continuously drawn to the collection of fine looking women adorning the sidelines of the gladiator gridiron. To primitive-minded men, these Phenomenal Professionals of the Pom-Poms are a temptingly tasty dessert starkly contrasting to the massive mammals annihilating each other behind them on the field. Each of these scantily clad women bouncing, posing, and preening themselves without any chance for the drooling dogs in the stands to touch.

In many ways, these Sideline Seductresses are like a neighborhood supermarket meat section. They display their high end pieces of meat comprised of rumps, thighs, loins, and breasts for thousands to see but not to touch. Now the common man would love to sample these juicy tidbits, but he is thwarted by the glass case of monetary means and societal status. These desirable delicacies are on display for these poor simple communal creatures, but are reserved only for those with the financial girth to match their fine status. The meat for the mean male masses is of the older, saggy, and leaky variety found in clearance bins (bars) down the isle (street). Furthermore, should an average chap be so blessed as to actually obtain these moist morsels, his is from that point forward doomed to crave for this tasty meal but is instead given moldy old meatloaf at home.

As a man of more than adequate finances and status, I have enjoyed many a luscious lunch on these moist morsels. Each year, the meats become more tender, juicy, and ravishingly succulent. It is my hope for you all, my evolving elegants, to someday feast upon these prize pieces of the flesh, and revile in all their pleasure and splendor.

“If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furnitiure, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies…It would be a sad situation of the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it.” – Albert Einstein 1879-1955

If you are ashamed of the wrapper on your meat of life, then just get better a better wrap for your meat. – E.R. Higgins 2010